Life Lesson 57: If You Bring Your Umbrella
by miikka-xx
Summary: ...It Never Rains. Featuring Gintoki, Katsura and how to get lost in the world and each other in 50 sentences. Includes best friends, a scooter, and a parfait with a side of denial. ginzura. complete.


**miikka-xx:** i have finally entered the Gintama fandom! whoo! ginzura ftw. it's the alpha set, btw.

**Title:** Life Lesson #57 If You Bring Your Umbrella, It Never Rains  
**Rating:** T  
**Summary:** Featuring Gintoki, Katsura and how to get lost in the world and each other in 50 sentences. Includes best friends, a scooter, and a parfait with a side of denial. ginzura. complete.  
**Disclaimer:** Hideaki Sorachi, you are an utter genius. Continue Gintama till the end of the world.  
**Warning(s):** SHTOOPIDNESS. Possible crack. Two spoilers from the Takasugi arc.

* * *

_life lesson #57 if you bring your umbrella, it never rains_

* * *

**Comfort**

It's the screams that wake Gintoki up in a cold sweat, trying his hardest to breathe again, feeling his heart beat fast under his blood-caked hakama _(it's the sounds, not sights, that kill him)_ until there is a warmth on his shoulder and his throat loosens, gasping on Katsura's hand resting there.

**Kiss**

There's something spiritual about the way Katsura presses his lips to each fallen comrades' forehead, like a saint giving his last blessings, and Gintoki wonders how warm it must feel, until there is a yell and Zura's bloodstained mouth is telling him to move _now._

**Soft**

Katsura hates his eyes; they're hard-glazed pools of death that reflect his demise from the clear water of the river, until Gintoki peeks over his shoulder, smiles like the lunatic he is, ruffling his hair and suddenly Katsura's eyes are _soft_.

**Pain**

Gintoki sucks so much at bandaging that it's more painful to treat injuries than get them, and Katsura sucks too yet they treat each other anyways, tracing each healing scar until the aches ebb away.

**Potatoes**

"This is disgusting, Zura," moans Gintoki as he throws something green – herb, leaf, grass? – into the boiling stew but Katsura ignores him, wondering if he chucked a potato at his companion, instead of in the soup, it would taste better.

**Rain**

When it pours, all samurai step outside because only rain washes the blood away – this is not true, according to Katsura, whispering to Gintoki one storming night, "blood can also be washed away by tears."

**Chocolate**

"Something that looks like shit probably tastes like it too," snaps Gintoki, watching Katsura lick the chocolate icing off his fingers from his cupcake, yet Gin can't help but curiously swipe a bit from the corner of his friend's mouth, slowly swirling his tongue around it and it's the mix of sugar and the aroused look in Zura's eyes that gets Gintoki addicted.

**Happiness**

The moment when time stops, the sun glimmers and the world seems perfect is said to be happiness – or, according to Gintoki, it's when Zura flips his hair over his shoulder, looks back with those glinting eyes and calls him perm-head – yes, that is happiness.

**Telephone**

Gintoki stares at the small metallic box with the antennae and decides it looks too much like a silver beetle to be of any use to him; besides, if he needs to talk to Zura, he'll just go to that soba place with the blonde, jealous glares or not.

**Ears**

"Now puff out your cheeks," deadpans Gintoki, holding Katsura's ears out, and when Zura complies, dead-serious face and all, he really does resemble a monkey, but Zura's too manly to hide his embarrassed face when Gin bursts out laughing, so he punches him instead.

**Name**

Gintoki calls his friend Zura so frequently that everyone wonders if he _does _know his friend's real name; but it's behind closed doors, in dark-shadowed rooms, with Zura nipping at his neck, hands wandering teasingly around his hips that Gintoki lets go and whimpers a deliciously pathetic, _"Katsuraaa…"_

**Sensual**

Katsura finds Gintoki the most sensual when he fights: sword glinting in and out of the light as he spins on his heel, kills the one behind him, swift slice to the knees, forward thrust into a stomach, horizontal slash at the neck; gods, it is like a dance and he'll be damned if Gintoki ever stops, now that he's rushing after him to join.

**Death**

Killing has become such a routine part of Katsura's life that it is easy to contemplate his own death at the hands of someone else; one night it even slips his mouth and Gintoki has him pinned against a wall, hot tears against his cheek, promising, "you will not die, hear me, _you_ will _not_ die-!"

**Sex**

Their first time is against a tree in the pouring rain, Gintoki crying over his dead friends and Katsura busy drinking his tears – pain, hurt, despair – as his back gets scratched and abused against the bark but gods is it worth it when Gin kisses him so tenderly afterwards that it hurts.

**Touch**

It's interesting that Katsura's delicate caress on his wounds hurt more than when he hits him, but maybe that's because Katsura's eyes are always vengeance-hardened compared to when they're laughing at his stupidity.

**Weakness**

The Shinsengumi believe that Katsura Kotarou has no weakness; he runs off left-wing radical ideas and adrenaline rushes; they don't realize that when the samurai is cornered in Kabuki-chou, he fights back – not letting Sogou's explosives go farther than Katsura himself, who wonders, vaguely, what Gintoki must be doing right now.

**Tears**

Gintoki has cried in front of Katsura more times than he can count so it is a surprise when Zura breaks down in front of him for the first time after Takasugi has his sight taken away, burying himself in Gin's arms and wondering, gods when will this damned war end?

**Speed**

The motor scooter is a gag-gift given to him from Sakamoto and he invites Zura to have the first ride on the questionably built thing – in the end, it breaks down after ten minutes and Katsura smacks his friend for being too fat off of parfaits.

**Wind**

Gintoki loves the wind – especially when Zura's hair gets so tangled up, that he has to come shuffling over to the perm-head for help to comb it all out.

**Freedom**

Katsura remembers when they first met – bare feet sprinting on hard ground, laughter in the air, a crash, grass stains and running again, runrun_run_ cause you're _free_.

**Life**

To wake up everyday in that war and smell the stinking decay, feel the congealing blood – Gintoki savors the cup of tea Zura sets out for him on not-fighting days, savors living another day to smell the heady scent of tea leaves, feel the warmth of the cup.

**Jealousy**

He adores Ikumatsu, and he loves her ramen even more, but _damn_ does this fluttering in his stomach become annoying when she simply gushes over _his_ friend Zura.

**Hands**

There is something extraordinarily captivating about the way Gintoki's long fingers trail idly down Katsura's palm when they're alone, pale digits curling so elegantly that he would never have guessed the perm-head used to be a demon.

**Taste**

Gintoki has only three addictions: his strawberry milk, his weekly parfait and the taste of sweetened soy sauce Katsura always drowns his soba in; of course, Gin's only tasted _that_ in his friend's mouth.

**Devotion**

They're both loyal to their own separate goals, and they're both too stubborn to give in and join one another, but perhaps that's what makes their bond ever stronger, Katsura wonders idly, knowing they'll have to be together until one of them finally achieves their dreams.

**Forever**

The only thing that lasts forever is death, and the gods know they will do everything and anything to keep each other from falling into that sort of forever.

**Blood**

Once, when Katsura's sternum was pierced with an enemy's blade, albeit shallow, he had lain semi-conscious on the dirt with Gintoki hovering over his head, slitting open his arm and pressing it to Zura's mouth, murmuring, "drink, drink,"; Katsura knew it was futile to save someone that way but he took part in his first blood feast anyway.

**Sickness**

"Idiot, that's what happens when you jump into the lake in the winter," chides a ten year old Katsura as he places another layer of blankets over his friend, trying not to laugh at Gintoki's triumphant grin.

**Melody**

Katsura idly kisses his friend's Adam's apple and feels it vibrate as Gintoki starts to hum their favorite childhood song – echoing through the night like the invigorating scent of wine.

**Star**

"Otsuuuu-!" sings Zura, tone-deaf, in the shower as Gintoki bangs on the door, yelling that there was a reason she became a singing star and Katsura didn't.

**Home**

Their first home is a run-down shack Takasugi finds and drags them to and they decorate it with Kamen and Mario posters, later hiding their filched porno mags and finally, sitting innocuously in the corner – a _bokuto_ from Lake Touya.

**Confusion**

When they first met as kids, Gintoki gave Zura a bouquet full of crushed daisies and daffodils because Shouryou-sensei said it was nice to give flowers to girls he liked; needless to say, when puberty hit, Gintoki was very confused at Zura's lack of chest growth and sudden low-timbered voice.

**Fear**

Gintoki is afraid of losing those he loves; Katsura is afraid of losing his ability to love.

**Lightning/Thunder**

Neither of them is frightened by storms but _damn_, does it get cold so _of course_ Katsura's going to cuddle up to Gintoki, geez.

**Bonds**

The first and last time they try bondage during sex is when Zura's hair gets caught in Gin's knot around his friend's wrists and somehow the perm-head trips, slams his head against the tatami mat but Zura can't take him to the hospital because the one thing Gintoki is actually good at, it's making sure rope bonds are strong and tight as hell.

**Market**

The one thing that makes Gintoki's stomach churn awkwardly is when the store-venders give one look-over when Zura is there and give him a nice, hefty discount.

**Technology**

Katsura likes his bombs – they're compact, modern and absolutely destructive, like Gin; Gintoki likes his bokuto – it's strong, light and traditionally dangerous, like Zura.

**Gift**

Gift buying requires time, patience and money – 3 things neither of them have but they leech off some sake anyways whenever the occasion springs up.

**Smile**

Katsura knows his friend lives off of happy smiles from those around him so he makes sure he has a good supply of them in himself, if only to make Gintoki linger a little longer, stare a little deeper, love him a little more.

**Innocence**

"I want to lock you up and protect you forever," confesses Gintoki, bleeding in the dirt, because Zura is _his_ – his precious, innocent Zura.

**Completion**

Their version of 'after-glow' is usually a combination of biting lips, snarky remarks and exasperated laughter; both of them feeling warm and complete, still tangled awkwardly in the sheets.

**Clouds**

"Cloud-watching is such a waste of time," snaps Gintoki at Sakamoto who only laughs and points at one particular one, "look, it's Zura-chan!"

**Sky**

Sakamoto's remark makes Gintoki go abruptly still and he stares at the sky for ten minutes straight, making his comrade wonder idly how long he would gaze at the real-life Katsura.

**Heaven**

"I ain't going to heaven, that's for sure," comments Gin to himself as he slices cleanly through an Amanto, glancing back at Zura, who's moving so elegantly that Gintoki swears he was an angel of battle from The Big Dude Up There Himself.

**Hell**

Kastura is lying on his friend's chest when he says, "they say boys like us like _this_-" he gestures at their nakedness, "go to hell," which only makes Gintoki shrug and smirk, "news flash: all the cool people go to hell."

**Sun**

The sun's heat can never compare to how Zura feels when he's pressed against the bamboo wall of Gintoki's bedroom, feeling the searing warmth of the other's fingertips ghost over his skin.

**Moon**

And only the moon will be privy to their relationship: the intertwined fingers, sweet kisses, pretty moans from prettier lips and their absolute screw-ups in sex which leaves them rolling in laughter rather than screwing each other, but they both believe those nights are always the best.

**Waves**

"Let's go to the ocean," offers Gintoki one day, eating parfait with that same apathetic expression of everyday life that Katsura has to muffle his laughter at his friend's pathetic attempt at romance.

**Hair**

Fetishes are for creeps, period, but Gintoki can't help tugging (_twistingplayingbraiding_) Zura's hair when they're alone – on another note, he almost cries when Takasugi chops it off, leaving his friend short-haired and vulnerable.

**Supernova**

The earth will end when the sun explodes (_a supernova_, they call it) but everyone believes in the pair's utter stupidity to find a way to stop that too.

* * *

**an:** well, my first gintama fic. for being such a stalker in this fandom, i'm glad i finally grew a backbone and wrote something.

drop a line! i love hearing what you think!


End file.
